You can't special order awesome
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wish i was in the wii world.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
