i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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