If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
