If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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