there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
