And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
