question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
