So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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