So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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