I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
