Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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