and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
