Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
