I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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