once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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