Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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