pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
