I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
