I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
