Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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