My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
