i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
