the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
