if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
