i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
