I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
