Quick, to the slutcave!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
