We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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