come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
