in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
