is your mom at the bar?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
