So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
