I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
