Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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