So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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