I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
