just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
