Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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