I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
