Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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