Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
