check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
