My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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