I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
