I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The air taste purple.
Randomize
