I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
