I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
