Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
