Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
