i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
