just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
